After a long Memorial Day driving back from my home in Iowa to school – and being numb in a good few hundred places – I got back to my apartment just in time to grab a shower and watch the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco. I only decided to watch this because two of my room mates were all about watching it. After choosing to conform to caving in under peer pressure, I decided to join them.
The Comedy Central Roast – for those of you who are not familiar with it – is the modern day version of the Celebrity Roasts from the 60s, 70s and 80s. To put this in perspective for you, it is to its predecessor what a McDonalds “Big Mac” is to a cut of prime rib. Individuals who most people have never heard of congregate at these Comedy Central Roasts and slander other individuals who you might recognize but never have heard of. Whereas the Celebrity Roasts was a dais of celebrities making jokes at a celebrity. But sadly, Dead Martin is very dead, and apparently the closest thing we could get to his corpse this year was Seth Rogan.
Seth came out to a roaring crowd and begins to lay in to the dais. Of course, you have to decipher what he’s saying because he keeps laughing like a sheltered and bashful Catholic girl on prom night when she first shows her boyfriend her ta-ta’s.
On stage are two icons of this generation’s regression into lazy rejects and social outcasts: Andy Samberg and Jonah Hill. Alongside the self-proclaimed “roast master” Jeffery Ross – who decided to touch base with his friends in “da hood” – under a car – with a ridiculously stupid haircut. The only two people on the stage with any talent was Bill Hayder and Aziz Ansari. The later of which took shots all night.
One of the most painful moments that night was when Samberg did his bit. It was almost as bad – if not worse – than when Mike from The Jersey Shore attempted to share his “talentlessness” with a dais on a similar roast. Whether it was a bit or not was irrelevant – Andy sounded like a total ignorant douchebag who lacked any sort of creativity. He seemed to be trying too hard, and it made all three of us want to reach through the screen and beat him in the face with trout.
All through the night was insult after insult, each one after another lacking taste. The biggest play was the fact that most of the dais was Jewish. If we’re going to have a dais full of Jewish “comedians” or lack thereof, where was the infamous Lewis Black? So, what was the issue with the Jewish jokes? Well, the problem is – I think there were more jokes about the Jewish faith than James Franco or anyone else on stage that evening. Who are we roasting again?
Sadly, this roast was totally disappointing. Not only was it a totally wasteful, disgraceful, and derogative show – but Comedy Central didn’t even air all of the scenes it says were “coming up.” Normally when you have a show that is also airing online, or has deleted scenes, you say “watch online” instead of “coming up next.” Get your head in the game Comedy Central. Overall, this was one of the worst roasts I have ever seen. If you want to see something that’s funny and has the Comedy Central Roast name, go watch the roast of Dennis Leary. Personally, I think I’ll watch some Bob Newhart.